Dead Stuff

This is grade-A creepy

Evidently the rest of the world has been asleep for the past few days because NO ONE is freaking out about what happened on NEW YEARS DAY!!!
As you read (presumably) above, a bunch of fish and birds just decided to die on us in one day.
This has not happened since the bible days when God smote the... whatever the hell was the last thing he smote (he's really a mean guy, isn't he? Something tells me the authors got his personality wrong).
The birds were flying along, minding their own business, and they just dropped dead. Same with the fish... only they were swimming... but the point remains, this is WEIRD.
Even stranger: only ONE species of fish and ONE species of bird died en masse. Well, that's convenient.

You know what the media says? LIGHTNING! Massive lightning strike or fireworks or a spook meteor shower. WHO IS BUYING THAT?! If you believe for a SECOND that a freak accident can kill 5000 birds of the same species across the state of Arkansas, you need to be locked up; you are a danger to society.

The conspiracy theory: it's a biological weapon that can target ONE species.
The scary part: The conspiracy theory is FAR more feasible than the media's version.

Bioweapons are a great plan! Target one group, get rid of them, leave the wealth...
Here's the big problem that anyone in a high school biology class would pick up on. BIOLOGICAL weapons are BIOLOGICAL. AKA they are ALIVE. Things that are ALIVE adapt to their environment in order to survive. Q.E.D. It kills everything it's supposed to, it will learn how to kill everything else...

Go drink something, you're looking pale...

Theories are everywhere, of course, but what is the truth?
I think it's mass fish and bird suicide... They were told that they could get to a mothership high in orbit of Earth if they killed themselves in Arkansas on New Years Day.
***Stupid joke? I wasn't kidding... remember about ten, twenty years ago, that really happened, only with people? That was heaven's gate. Yup, it's real. A group of several young Americans killed themselves in a mansion (IN A MANSION) because a man named Bo and his partner Peep (no s****ing on that one either) told them they could get to the Hale Bopp Comet if they castrated, then killed themselves. It's in the public archives if you need proof. Anyway, I digress...***

My point is simple, you can't just write this off. For some reason, only one species of fish and one species of bird was targeted by this sudden purge... all I can tell for certain is that we don't know the whole story. I'll tell you this much, this was no meteor shower...

In the mean time, keep this basic sacred truth in mind:
NOTHING HAPPENS ON HOLIDAYS THAT ISN'T PLANNED!