Happy New Year

I won't make you read an article for this.

Now that it's 2011...

1. It's official folks, we don't have a national color anymore. STOP TITTERING RACISTS, I MEANT POLITICAL COLOR! As of yesterday the US House of Representatives is red. The US Senate, however, remains blue. Anyone who thinks anything will get done for the next two years in a legislative sense, please click here I have a beautiful bridge to sell you (great condition, only a hundred or so years old. Newly remodeled [I think]).

2. We are only one year away from 2012! Will we make it to the year to end all years? Tune in to "Blasphemy" in 2013 for the answer. ***The writers and producers of this blog would like it noted that 2012 will not be the year to end all years, that year was 2000 when the votes were miscounted in a major election resulting in the elevation of a Texan Governor and frat boy to the position of US President***

3. American Idol without Simon.
Thank the gods.

4. Sarah Palin will do something in Alaska that makes us all chuckle behind our hands. You know, we shouldn't complain about her so much, she makes for GREAT comic relief from daily stresses.

5. The world's oil will continue to be depleted and as a response our government will double our coal use! I know I want black lung disease, don't you?!

6. North Korea

7. Apple will release the next generation iPods: iPhone & iPod Touch - now with holographic projection technology! iPod Nano - The smallest mp3 player in history with a 4.2 millimeter touchscreen. iPod Shuffle - in the recent tradition of going back one model design, returns to its beginning shape as a flash drive with buttons, and iPod classic 320 gigabyte capacity that is roughly the size of a gameboy color.

8. Microsoft will start working on Windows 8 which will compete with Apples OSXII, code named "endangered-dung-beetle-big-cat"

9. The next generation game consoles will be announced by Microsoft (XBOX SPHERE), Sony (Playstation StandStill), and Nintendo (Yoo) which will all be controlled by brainwaves from another room.

10. Scientists will successfully form the first human clone, Joan Rivers, which will convince everyone NEVER to try it again.

So those are in the cards for these next twelve months... who knows what other horrible fates could befall us? You know what... end of the world in 2012 is looking pretty nice from here.

Good Luck all! Happy 2011 (2410 to Star Trek Online players)